Marriage is not just a paper contract; it’s the commitment of a lifetime. Once you decide to tie the knot with your lover, you are vowing to spend the rest of your life with him or her. You must have thought it out a hundred times as how you will commit yourself to this relationship, but now you also need to ask your partner how much he/she is willing to put into this relationship. Here is a list of the most important questions that you should ask your lover before tying the knot. Some of these questions are not easy but you should at least discuss them with your spouse to be.
1. Why Do You Love Me?
The first and the foremost question to ask your husband to be or your wife to be: ‘Why do you love me’?. Some people find this a silly question and their reply would be ‘I love you because I just love you.’ Well, that is not an acceptable answer.
If someone claims to love you, then he or she should give a valid reason why they love you. We really need to know what is the reason that made our partner fall in love with us. We often think about this; what is it that has attracted my lover towards me? Is it my beauty? Is he impressed with my intelligence? Does she/he love me for my personality?
Everyone has his or her own criteria of loving their partner. But if someone says this to us, ‘ I love you because you make me feel special’ or ‘ Whatever you do for me makes me fell in love with you even more’, we will just feel ourselves on top of the world.
Once we know what actually made our partner fell in love with us, we will not only have the confidence over ourselves but will also have faith in our relationship.
2. Why Do You Want To Spend The Rest Of Your Life With Me?
Majority will answer ‘because I Love you baby.’ But the essence of this question cannot be achieved with just this answer. Your partner should have a clear thing in mind. He/She should know exactly why they want you in their lives?
This question will not only give you a clear idea about your importance and value in the life of your lover but it will also make your lover think deeply where you stand in his/her life. This will make them ponder as to what extent they want to spend their life with you and what would be the main reason for that.
3. Will You Do Your Best To Keep The Romance Alive?
Love and romance requires constant nurturing. Both the partners need to put in deliberate efforts to keep the romantic spark alive in their lives. You both need reassurance of love from each other; you both need to go the extra mile to impress each other with your romance and love.
When you ask your partner this question, he or she will immediately start thinking of various creative ways to keep the romance alive over a long period of time, if that partner is truly in love with you. And if, by any chance, your partner is reluctant to answer or he/she says ‘we will see when the time comes’, this shows that your partner is not even sure about their love for you.
4. Will You Grow With Me And Not Away From Me?
Life is not constant; we don’t know what life holds for us in the future. We can never be sure of our future life but we can reassure our life partner that we will stick with them during the darkest of times. By asking this question from the person we are going to marry, we are just asking for his/her reassurance, we just want them to promise us that they will be there with us forever.
5. Will You Stick Through The Rough Times?
The time of marriage is a happy time, everything seems to be picture perfect. We are planning each and every move of our marriage ceremony and want everything to go smooth and just the way we have planned. But life after marriage cannot be planned, not to this extent of course; there will be both good days and bad days. No one can promise you just happy shining days, but what we can do is promise each other our support during the rough times of life.
It is a good idea to ask your life partner-to-be, whether he or she will be there with you when luck is not in your favour. Once you decide to be there, right beside your lover, during the hard times, you vow that you are not going to let anything affect your relationship with your spouse. No matter how good or bad your days are, you both will be with each other, side-by-side.
6. Are you willing to lose some battles in order to keep the peace?
Marriage is all about compromises. It doesn’t mean that you compromise on your self-respect and your happiness. It means moulding yourself and taming your ego for the betterment of your relationship with your spouse. Before tying the knot with your lover, ask him/her whether he/she is ready to place your relationship above everything else? If your lover claims to give priority to your happiness and will let go of their ego if it’s coming in the way, then this partner deserves to be your life partner.
7. Will You Be A Great Parent?
That is a very important question to ask before tying the knot. Most of us just assume that if a person is loving and caring, he/she would be the same with kids. That concept is totally wrong. I have seen many caring and loving people acting really weird when it comes to handling kids. If you love kids and have a specific mind-set about the upbringing of kids then you should openly talk to your partner about this before getting into the marriage contract. And what if your partner doesn’t even like the idea of being a parent? So, its better to ask well in time before it’s too late.
8. Will You Support Me If I Can’t Support Myself?
When we ask our lover and life partner-to-be, we are openly telling them about our expectations from them after marriage. A life partner is supposed to be your supporter, your morale booster, your guide, your mentor. If ever in life you need any kind of support, financial, physical, mental, your partner should vow to provide you that support from the very moment you become their life partner.
9. If I’m The First To Go, Will You Be There With Me Until The End?
10. Will You Be Sure To Remind Me How Much You Love Me Regularly?
Everyone has an innate desire of love; we want our lover to love us and show us that he/she loves and cares for us. Not only this, we want regular reassurance of love from our partner. We want them to say it and show us through their actions every other day. The longing and desire for true love never dies and we always crave for romantic gestures from our partner’s side.
When we want our lover to answer this, we want him/her to assure us that they will show their true love every step of the way throughout the journey of our life together.
Mary Beth Lovejoy, Photographer
315.374.0506 or 585.348.7380